Have I mentioned that Paul whistles in his sleep? It’s usually a random little tune pushed through his teeth. It’s not an incidental whistle, the result of his mouth-breathing ways, but it’s not a lip-pucker whistle either. If I could put it to a tune it would sound something like twee-te-twee-te-twee. Twee-te-twee-te-twee.
After my little visit at Soaring Heart , I continue on to Bedrooms & More. I walk in and tell the nice young man with his wire rimmed glasses and bottle of vitamin water what I’m looking for. He shows me three beds.
The first is the super-duper-organic bed from Organic Mattress Inc (I wonder how they came up with the name). It’s made of latex, organic wool and organic cotton. Even the thread is organic. He says they control the ozone in the manufacturing facility. I have no idea what this means. Then he says that when entering the plant, everyone must pass through a series of doors designed to control the interior atmosphere. None of the employees smoke or wear perfume (ever). They keep the wool and cotton material on a machine so it is constantly circulating (I’m picturing a giant taffy machine) because if you leave cotton or wool sitting on a shelf it can grow traces of mold.
Now, I have quite a collection of neuroses but germophobia does not happen to be one of them. I’m looking for something natural and non-toxic, but I don’t think I need my own ozone. That’s lucky for me because their least expensive twin is $1499.
Paul isn’t just a whistler. He’s a snorer. So go ahead and picture this. Paul, sleeping on his back; he’s pulled the sheets up all along the bottom of the bed so his feet can hang over. He alternates a loud snore on the inhale and a few little notes of a whistled tune on the exhale. A deliberately whistled tune. Snore: whistle. Snore, tweedly-twee-te-twee. Snore, tweedly-twee-te-twee.
Then my new friend at Bedrooms & More shows me a chemical-free, inner-spring, Therapedic-brand twin that sells for $499. Nice enough, but because it is inner-spring it will age and sag.
It’s a little difficult to believe all this snoring/whistling business. I know that. So I’ve replaced the batteries in my voice recorder and stashed it in my nightstand drawer. Now I just need to memorize the button pushing sequence so I can get it to record in the dark. I feel like I’m stalking a nocturnal wild animal. As soon as I have something I’ll post it for you. I promise. (I know, you can hardly wait!)
The winner of the mattress showdown is the last option: the Natura Sunshine 6” latex twin. That’s 6” of all-natural, non-off-gassing latex, guaranteed not to hold an impression for 20 years, encased in a chemical-free cotton and wool package that serves as a natural flame retardant.
For $670 Josie is going to have this bed for more than 20 years. She’s going to have it forever. We’re going to attach it to her ankle. Instead of a ball and chain, she’ll have a mattress and chain. We’ll consider it part of her dowry. Instead of a goat or a cow and a trunk full of clothes, we’ll send her off with an old golden retriever, and an ancient mattress that still doesn’t hold an impression.
Once the mattress decision was made, we purchased an inexpensive poly blend mattress pad without any plastic, petroleum or chemical additions. We topped it with this wool and cotton, waterproof and machine washable puddle pad. Then inexpensive cotton sheets and blankets because from what I understand none of the bedding is treated with flame retardants and even if pesticides are used on the cotton, very little of it transfers through to the cotton fluff.
Pillows? Don’t even get me started on pillows… After many hours (okay, minutes) of reading pillow labels I finally found a few that were not treated with iso-guard, sani-clean, rest-block or any other bullshit chemical created solely for the purposes of charging me more. Keep your damn chemicals to yourself. Oh, and another thing, no more dry clean only bedding. I’d rather have cooties than Perc any day. Eventually I bought three cheap machine-washable, poly-filled, chemical-free (as far as I could tell) pillows.
Well, finally, the mystery is solved, the puzzle complete, the big girl bed and accessories acquired.
Of course, I didn’t arrive at the decision to buy the Sunshine after just one visit. It took… a few. And a bit of pondering (obsessing?). Some of that pondering was done at night when I was supposed to be sleeping but instead was listening to my snoring/whistling husband and imagining the flame retardants working their way from my mattress into my blubber. I couldn’t turn my brain off and the day after I bought Josie’s mattress, I went back and bought one for Paul and me. New beds for everyone! Another round of new beds over here please bartender! Yes, that’s right, more beds for the crazy lady.
We bought an Englander 5003 all natural firm latex mattress. She’s a real beaut.