![\"\"](\"http:\/\/katherinemalmo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/jopiano.jpg\" "\\"piano\\"")
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After Josie was diagnosed with lactose and fructose intolerance I began to wonder how years of consuming lactose-laden foods had affected her behavior, and if her behavior would change with her new diet. Of course, as I thought (fantasized?) about my girl transforming into a quiet easy going child, like other kids I\u2019d heard about but never actually met, I didn\u2019t like the idea one bit. I love that she\u2019s gritty and tough and doesn\u2019t let anyone (including her parents) push her around.<\/p>\n
A few weeks into her new diet I\u2019m chatting with the director of her preschool and she tells me about an incident at snack time. Josie\u2019s sitting next to her best friend, we\u2019ll call her Maya. Maya is eighteen months older than Josie, significantly bigger and, um, let\u2019s call her a natural leader<\/em> (aka: kind of a bully). Maya likes to be in charge and most of the time Josie is so swept up in Maya\u2019s awesome-olderness that she\u2019s happy to follow.<\/p>\n At snack time Maya takes one of Josie\u2019s animal crackers. Now, you don\u2019t mess with Josie\u2019s food. Josie asks for it back. Maya ignores Josie. The teacher tells Maya to give it back. Maya ignores the teacher. Josie stands up and reaches over to her friend\u2019s plate and tries to grab one of her cookies. Maya grabs Josie\u2019s hand and they push and pull and push and pull. Josie\u2019s fingers get squished and she lets go. Josie sits back down but she\u2019s mad. Nothing has worked. The teacher hasn\u2019t been able to fix it. That\u2019s when Josie turns to Maya, pulls her elbow back, and punches Maya in the face.<\/p>\n I guess we don\u2019t have to worry about Josie going all submissive and mellow on us.<\/p>\n When I heard the story I kind of felt like laughing and saying good for her<\/em>. The director seemed to think it was funny. You have to know how pushy Maya is to really understand. In a way, it\u2019s great to see someone try to keep this girl in check. Josie\u2019s punch may have been one of the strongest messages Maya could have received \u2013 from anyone. But then, of course, rational mother steps in and says it\u2019s never okay to hit… Ever. Or is it?<\/p>\n I\u2019m thinking about all this, my brain still whirring, when my friend posts this on his Facebook page.<\/p>\n Parenting survey: your 4 year old daughter comes down from the top of the playground structure, crying her eyes out. She says, through her tears: “Daddy, a boy hit me in the face!!” You give her a hug and then say …. What would you say?<\/em><\/p>\n Oh my, the comments he got\u2026 Some parents encouraged their children to defend themselves, to hit back when provoked. Others were strongly against hitting under any conditions.<\/p>\n What would you say? Do you encourage your kids defend themselves?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" After Josie was diagnosed with lactose and fructose intolerance I began to wonder how years of consuming lactose-laden foods had affected her behavior, and if her behavior would change with her new diet. Of course, as I thought (fantasized?) about my girl transforming into a quiet easy going child, like other kids I\u2019d heard about […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-982","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mom","category-parenting"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.katherinemalmo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/982","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.katherinemalmo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.katherinemalmo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.katherinemalmo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.katherinemalmo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=982"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.katherinemalmo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/982\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":987,"href":"https:\/\/www.katherinemalmo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/982\/revisions\/987"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.katherinemalmo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=982"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.katherinemalmo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=982"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.katherinemalmo.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=982"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}