Keep Those Gremlins Out of My Garden

I’ve been chipping away at a vegetable garden for the last two years. I had one in the last house. Then we moved with a six-month old baby. It wasn’t at the top of my to-do list. Last summer for my birthday, I asked my husband and my dad to build 3, 4’x10’ raised beds (in 97F heat). Then we had dirt delivered. What a way to celebrate!

For Christmas my mother made a donation to my drip irrigation system. Then it had to be designed, ordered and installed.

Then veggie starts had to be purchased. Then they had to be planted. Of course, I planted peas. I have to have peas, but it didn’t take me long to realize they had nothing to climb. For the last two weeks, a melee of birthdays and Mother’s Day celebrations, a voice in my head has been screaming your peas have nothing to climb! Get on it woman! Of course this thought was written on post-its and lists everywhere. Then finally, Mother’s Day, the peas got something to climb and I bought a few more starts to fill in the first bed. Isn’t it lovely?

I hope the peas like it.

Then I read this – Rx From the Cursing Mommy. I loved the whole thing but the end/byline was my favorite part:

Looking for new ideas in the garden? Get the Cursing Mommy’s yard-and-garden manual, “I’m Going to Kill Those Fucking Deer with My Bare Hands, I Swear I Am: A Guide to Seasonal Plantings,” possibly available at many stores.

Deer aren’t a problem at my house but so help me if one of those little rats, cats, possums, bunnies, weevils, muchkins, leprechauns, dogs, gremlins, chipmunks, hamsters, birds, squirrels eats a leaf off my lettuce or a strawberry from a vine, I think I will track down the cursing mommies garden manual (or maybe I’ll write my own). I swear I will.

Happy Birthday Babe!

4 thoughts on “Keep Those Gremlins Out of My Garden

  1. Alyssa

    We used to have a bottle of sprayable predator urine that kept pilfering to a minimum. The only problem we have had lately has been the damn squirrels forgetting, EVERY YEAR, that they hate garlic until they dig up the bulb, carry it halfway across the yard, and then take a bite out of it. Idiots.

  2. Patricia

    I have something called Shake Away for mice, rats, voles, shrews, chipmunks, squirrels (sorry, they don’t mention gremlins, leprechauns, raccoons, etc…) It is granulated fox urine. I don’t know how they collect the fox urine, nor do I want to think about it, but Shake Away does seem to keep the, uh, mice that like my compost bin to a minimum. Which should be the job of my two little cairn terriers, bred for that exact task, but…they’re old, I guess.
    I love the Cursing Mommy!

  3. amy k

    Hooray for growing your own veggies. Peas!!! YUMMMMMY! laughing my ass off at the cursing mommy. Did you read (and LOVE!!) the 3 martini playdate?? freaking hilarious. xoxo

Comments are closed.